by Wink

Hey, it is election day and Halloween again. If you are not terrified right now, then Republicans are not doing their job.

Turn on your favorite SCAAAARRRRYYY network. Get some popcorn and huddle under your blanket. Cue the shower music from ‘Psycho’ and…… GO!

  • Immigrants!
  • Mexicans!
  • Hillary!
  • Voter fraud!
  • George Soros!
  • Intellectual Elites!
  • Environmentalists!

Are you quaking yet? You guys scare easy. Here we go again…

  • Gun control!
  • Scientists!
  • Kneeling before a football game!
  • Black people!
  • Poor people with health care!
  • CNN!
  • Nancy Pelosi!
  • Mueller!
  • And the Grand Finale… OBAMACARE!!!

WOW. That has been a lot for one sitting. If this has all been too much, and you now need to clean your underwear, well, go do it.

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By Wink & Kasson

Yep, the Winkest Link is now a full ten years old. And like every ten-year-old, we are far more mature than the current White House occupant.

We begin by offering a quick ‘thank you’ to our millions of readers and contributors over the years. You are the wind beneath our wings, or some-such hackneyed cliché.

A special thanks to our donors, (including secret donors “D Letterman” and “S Colbert”) who have poured valuable resources into our almost-worthwhile campaign.

For this review we offer a random list of things that happened in last 10 years. Not in ‘date order.’ Not in ‘order of importance.’

‘Order’ is a vice.

Some of the below have merited W-L articles, and some have not. Those left out were probably left out for a reason. Lodge complaints wherever those are accepted…

  • Barack Obama became the first black president.
  • The Cubs won the World Series
  • Osama bin Laden Killed
  • Pirates ruled the Somali seas
  • The Queen is still alive
  • The U.S. is still in Afghanistan
  • Swine Flu, Ebola
  • LeBron left the Cavs, rejoined the Cavs, and then left again
  • BP Oil Spill
  • Haiti Earthquake
  • Flint Water Crisis
  • Gun violence was, and continues to be, a problem
  • Tsunami in Japan
  • Massive tornadoes in Alabama, Joplin, MO, and Moore, OK
  • Retirement of the space shuttle
  • Occupy Wall Street
  • Jerry Sanduski / Penn State scandal
  • Gay Marriage Legalized
  • Hurricane Sandy
  • Kony 2012
  • The Harlem Shake
  • Boston Marathon Bombing
  • Edward Snowden
  • Wikileaks & Julian Assange
  • Dennis Rodman in North Korea
  • The Rise of Bitcoin
  • Mars Rovers still kicking & Curiosity lands
  • The exploding number of found exoplanets
  • Detroit bankrupt
  • Malaysian Airline disappearance
  • Russia invades Ukraine
  • We land a spacecraft on a comet
  • Cuba relations warm
  • The rise of Trump
  • All things ‘Trump’
  • Charlie Hebdo attacks, and Paris concert attacks
  • Orlando night club & Las Vegas shootings
  • Police violence & Black Lives Matter
  • Syrian refugee crisis
  • Hillary Clinton’s emails
  • China Tariffs
  • Russian election interference
  • Sullenberger lands a passenger jet in the Hudson
  • Gangnam Style – Psy
  • Planking
  • The Tea Party
  • The rise of the electric car
  • ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
  • The death of John McCain, the last honorable conservative Republican

Bouquets, hugs and kisses to ALL our readers, including those who occasionally, very occasionally, feel there may be some microscopic flaw in our otherwise impeccable logic.

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by Wink

As a youth, I never really believed in witches. Yeah, some people dance around and claim to be witches, but I never really bought into them having extra-normal powers. Regardless, I was always open to new evidence.

Donald Trump has said, seemingly thousands of times, that the Robert Mueller investigation is a ‘total witch hunt.’

Silly me, I always thought President Trump meant ‘witch hunt’ in a BAD way.

Now, to my total amazement, Mueller is actually finding witches!

Among the indicted witches (so far):

George Papadopoulos: Trump campaign foreign policy adviser

Paul Manafort: Trump’s campaign chair

Rick Gates: Trump campaign aide and Manafort’s longtime junior business partner

Michael Flynn: Trump’s national security adviser

Thirteen Russian nationals and three Russian companies.

Richard Pinedo: Pleaded guilty to an identity theft charge in connection with the Russian indictments, and has agreed to cooperate with Mueller.

Alex van der Zwaan: London lawyer pleaded guilty to making false statements to the FBI about his contacts with Rick Gates and another unnamed person based in Ukraine

Konstantin Kilimnik: Longtime business associate of Manafort and Gates, who’s currently based in Russia, was charged along with Manafort, of attempting to obstruct justice by tampering with witnesses in Manafort’s pending case this year.

Twelve Russian GRU officers: Officers of Russia’s military intelligence service were charged with crimes related to the hacking and leaking of leading Democrats’ emails in 2016.

Michael Cohen: Trump’s former lawyer pleaded guilty to 8 counts

Sam Patten: This Republican operative and lobbyist pleaded guilty to not registering as a foreign agent with his work for Ukrainian political bigwigs, and agreed to cooperate with the government.

We have 37 verified witches so far…

Witches everywhere you look!!!

Feel free to bet your house that future discovered witches will include Donald Trump Jr. and Jared Kushner.

Thank you Mr. President, for believing in witches and witch-hunts, and convincing me of the same!!

How many more will we find? We haven’t even gotten to Halloween yet!

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By Wink

Sharice Davids won the Democratic nomination for Congress from Kansas District 3. She is a Native American, lesbian, attorney, ex White House Fellow who was previously a mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter.

Ugh.

Now I suppose the ‘House of Representatives’ will soon be flooded with Native American, lesbian, attorney, ex White House Fellow, MMA fighters…

If we are not careful, Congress will plummet down to 90% white males…

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By Wink

Know what is fun?

Knowing, without question, that you, Donald Trump, will be forever be known as a really terrible person.

You can obfuscate. You can divert. You can lie. You can talk all you want about Hillary, and the evil press, and fake news, and witch hunts. Your minions can worship you all they want at hate-filled rallies.

It will not prevent the long arm of history from using you as a perfect example, Exhibit A, of a genuinely terrible president.

Thank you Donald Trump!!!

We will laugh and laugh and laugh, and you, Mr. President, will be the butt of eternal jokes about just how god-awful a president can be. You are the gift that will NEVER stop giving…

Grabbing women’s privates?

Cheating on all three wives?

Supporting the KKK?

Knowing literally NOTHING about the job of president? Or American history. Or any history?

Intentionally dividing the country?

Multi-level racism (blacks, Hispanics, Muslims, etc..)?

Hyperbolic lies on every topic (‘crowd size’ being the tip of a very large iceberg)?

Colluding with a cruel Russian dictator?

Constant, drum-beating attacks on the free press?

Tanking our budget by giving trillions (trillions!) away to the very most rich?

Stealing children from people wishing to immigrate to the U.S.? (Wow! You make the devil proud with this one.)

Thousands of mindless, moronic tweets?

You check every box, and dozens of boxes we never knew existed, or didn’t think were possible. You are the dumbest president ever. You are, exponentially, the most egotistical president.

Long-deceased Richard Nixon will greet you in the great beyond and thank you, THANK YOU, for being so terrible, and for overwhelming Nixon’s badness.

Your self-aggrandizing words, over time, are to become but an increasingly faint whisper, intended to ward off your tidal wave of terribleness…

In decades hence, racists will quietly long for the days of Donald Trump, when they could say horrible things out loud, and proudly show their faces in KKK/Nazi marches. Oh, they will miss those days when America’s president defended them, when you said people who opposed Nazis and the KKK were also reprehensible…

Oh, and it will burn you for eternity, to learn that presidential scholars forever will rate Barack Obama as a good-to-great president, and you will be, by consensus, an utter disaster.

No amount of gold paint can save you from who you are.

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by Wink

What should be self-evident: The president is supposed to be the president of all Americans. This has been the stated purpose for every president, always, throughout history. A man will win the election, and then declare: “I am here to represent ALL Americans, even those who didn’t vote for me.”

And they would mean it!!! Until now.

From the moment he got elected as ‘America’s leader,’ the methodology for Donald Trump has been to divide and conquer. He continues to rile up his base by tearing apart everyone who he has ever had a grudge against, never even pretending to represent all Americans.

This appeals greatly to the 30% who have always hated Hillary, and have been convinced that the great evils of the world do not include bloodthirsty press-murdering dictators like Putin. The real evil is liberals, and Mexicans, and gang members (read ‘blacks’).

After taking office he learned that being president is hard. He actually said that in an interview. Because he is clueless and confused about how government works, and because being president really IS hard, Trump decided to get back to his comfort zone, with pep rallies and stump-speech campaigning, and he continues to do so.

He loves the cheers, and has learned what people cheer the loudest for … personal insults!!! Trash sells, baby! His fans don’t care if he is trash-talking the FBI, or the families of dead American soldiers, or women he has (allegedly) sexually assaulted. Of course, Bill and Hillary are favorites for pillorying, along with the above-mentioned Mexicans, and gang members.

Amazingly, to this day he is throwing barbs at recently widowed and extremely frail George H W Bush and dismisses dying war hero John McCain. And his fans cheer!

He trashes Canada, England and Germany, and licks Putin’s boots, and his crowds cheer!

Why would he NOT be out stump-speaking with those who adore him? He throws proverbial s-bombs at the beacon of our democracy, the free press, and his crowds cheer!

The House and Senate are packed wall-to-wall with GOP cowards who, to retain power, pander to all his twisted whims, and laugh off all his insane and petty tweets. “Ha” they say, “that is just the way he does things.” They fear the Donald. They fear him exactly the same as Russian and North Korean legislatures fear Putin and Kim.

Hey Trump fans… I get it. You love his bluster. You love his trashing Hillary and Arnold Schwarzenegger and John McCain. I get it. I get that you are completely comfortable with his lies, even though the lies are almost always directed at you, his biggest fans. His lies keep you angry, and you like to be angry. You are angry at all the ‘enemies’ and you remain in the fold, in his pocket.

Forget that he is a horrible human. If you are still a fan of his, you are completely comfortable with horrible people.

When it becomes too obvious that he is in bed with Putin, as could almost certainly be established if he ever released his tax returns, you will still support him.

You are being played.

Donald Trump is the P.T. Barnum of our age. He has made a lot of money, and even won the presidency, using the philosophy that everybody is a sucker. He loves his supporters, but doesn’t respect them, because he knows they are so dumb that they fall for literally anything he says.

He super-hates those who don’t fall for his crap. They make his weird hair stand on end, and he attacks them with 3rd grade nicknames like crazy, Pocahontas, weak, low energy, crooked, leakin’, lyin’, cheatin’ wacky, and my personal favorite – ‘Low IQ.’

Low IQ? How delicious, Donald Trump, calling someone else, ANYONE else, Low IQ???” Hilarious.

He gave a holocaust victims advocate, Charles Goldstein, the snide nickname of “Sir Charles”. Nothing is ‘too low’ for this president, except his IQ and those of his followers…

Hey! That doesn’t apply to you though. You love him because he is a straight shooter, right?

Suckers… Con men love suckers…

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By Wink

It is a common occurrence for a city to name grade schools, middle schools and high schools after presidents. There is a magnet school of technology in Atlanta named Barack H. Obama Elementary, and there are innumerable schools named Lincoln, Jefferson and Washington.

Plans are already taking shape for the Donald J Trump School.

It will not have Mexicans, or anyone who looks like a Mexican, except maybe in janitorial positions. That is a given.

No Muslims.

No blacks, except for direct relatives of Kanye West and Ben Carson.

Klan kids are welcome, because they are mostly good people, and they dress in stylish white.

Girls must be “8’s” or better.

There will be no history classes.

No government.

Science education will be expressly forbidden.

Deferments will be available to avoid physical education.

There is a golf team, with a nickname to be determined later, either the ‘Fighting Caucasians’ or the ‘White Russians.’

There will be an emphasis on the three ‘R’s… readin’, writin’, and rippin’ off contractors.

Instead of the Pledge of Allegiance there will be mandatory flag-hugging, and Donald J Trump school will always celebrate American veterans, except for former prisoners of war. (We only like those that weren’t captured.)

Students will be allowed to mumble along to “God Bless America” (as the words are too hard to remember).

The school motto is ‘Non Memini’ (I don’t recall).

Russian hookers will be available, we presume for rug-making instruction.

Note: ‘Cooking the Books’ and ‘Book burning’ are two different classes, please don’t mix them up. ‘Cooking the Books’ is part of the required course curriculum for a major in Tax Evasion.

One ‘Donald J Trump Scholarship’ is awarded each year to the student with the best essay to answer any of the following questions:

  • “Which deferment was the most patriotic?”
  • “Grabbing P****: Normal Behavior, or Heroic?”
  • “Is Frederick Douglass getting too big for his Britches?”
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By Wink

American soldiers and sailors and airmen deserve our unending thanks. Now and always.

On this anniversary of D-Day we need to remember, and pay our respects to the dead, the wounded, and the survivors of such horrendous, heroic events.

And we love to have Donald Trump preach to us about patriotism and standing for the flag.

Between 1964 and 1972 our current commander in chief could have (1) accepted his Vietnam draft status and served or (2) declared his opposition to the war.

It turns out there was a third option. Please don’t think Donald was ‘cowardly’ (a verbal bludgeon he uses often) to find a way out via a questionable ‘bone spur’ claim. He managed to get five deferments, and completely avoided the chance to show off his super-patriotism.

It is of note that, as terribly painful as bone spurs can be, Trump cannot now seem to remember which foot it was that troubled him. Hmm…

Additionally, when you truly love your country, you can find other ways to serve America, even with bone spurs.

So here we are on the anniversary of D-Day, and I recommend very highly you read an opinion piece about the times we live in, written by William Hitchcock

God Bless America.

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by Wink

George F. Will is a conservative. A true conservative.

I imagine he bothers today’s ‘conservatives’ because he is also an intellectual, who focuses on facts, rather than what is politically expedient. ‘Facts,’ be they moral or scientific, are a bit of an anathema to the Republican party, as it is currently structured.

Life-long Republican Will was so disturbed by the ugly anti-fact morphing of his party, that he recently changed his affiliation to ‘Independent.’ Keep that in mind as you read the following excerpts from his most recent Washington Post opinion piece, titled “Trump is no longer the worst person in government”…

“(Donald) Trump is what he is, a floundering, inarticulate jumble of gnawing insecurities and not-at-all compensating vanities, which is pathetic. Pence is what he has chosen to be, which is horrifying.”

“…Trump, with his feral cunning, knew. The oleaginous Mike Pence, with his talent for toadyism and appetite for obsequiousness, could, Trump knew, become America’s most repulsive public figure. And Pence, who has reached this pinnacle by dethroning his benefactor, is augmenting the public stock of useful knowledge. Because his is the authentic voice of today’s lickspittle Republican Party, he clarifies this year’s elections: Vote Republican to ratify groveling as governing.”

Why does Mr. Will feel the need to eviscerate a nice, religious man Mike Pence? Please see the full article.

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By Wink

Because his purposeful inaccuracies are constant, and he fears being called out on them, the lies of Donald Trump are often preceded by “People tell me” or “Believe me” or “Lots of people say” or “Somebody said” or “Everybody knows” and followed by some specious comment about Hillary, or Obama, or Mexicans, or Mueller, or Democratic leaders, or any Republican that questions him, or…

Since 90% of his interviews are with the fawners at FOX, he rarely gets called out, even for the most obvious falsehoods. (Typical FOX Fawn: “Mr. President, How did you become such a great leader of people? Were you just born with that amazing skill?)

When confronted by a real newsperson, Trump inevitably resorts to the above lead-ins… (All I know is, people say that Robert Mueller killed Michael Jackson and Mother Teresa. Who is to say if that is right or wrong?)

His instinct, to lie so completely, and the pathology of believing his own lies, is really sort a pathetic dodge that he almost assuredly acquired as a child to try to placate his harsh father. It probably didn’t work then, but it works with his worshippers…

Sorry, but at this point, with all of the current evidence in front of you, if you still believe DJT, then you are best described as ‘worshipper.’

What worshippers do is believe, and they will believe in spite of all evidence to the contrary. That is the definition of belief.

The evidence of who he is, and the evidence of the things he has done, are right in front of you. Those are the things you choose NOT to believe.

Who knows? Maybe you just want to believe to justify the cost of the red hat.

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