November 2009

In place of a regular post, we at the Winkest Link have decided that everyone needs something to liven up their day. Here are a few of our favorite quotes, funny or enlightening.

“The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.”Anonymous

“Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.” – Anonymous

“Nature abhors a tattletale.” Daimyo Kubota

“Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.” – Anonymous

“Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.” – Anonymous

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain

Disclaimer: These are not our quotes. For the most part, we don’t know who said them. We take no responsibility over these quotes, and by reading this disclaimer you agree not to sue us.

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The newest “scandal” involves Sarah Palin.  This week Newsweek is releasing a cover that includes a picture of Sarah Palin.  Before I show you the image I want to warn you of the sexist imagery. Palin did pose for this picture and it was supposedly for a magazine. One source says Runner’s World Magazine. To me that source only shows that she wears the same jacket while running.

Here is the already infamous cover (you may need to avert your eyes)(click the “more” button):

Continue reading Palin Selling Magazines

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By Wink

Tired of sports yet? Sorry. I have just one more topic to hit.

At the beginning of this season an Oregon University (Fighting Ducks!) running back was suspended because he punched an opponent in the face. This was a disgraceful act, and the player was immediately removed from the team.

I repeat, removed from the team.

[YouTube Video]

The circumstances are of note. And the end of a hard fought and bitter game, a victorious opponent came up and bumped the Oregon player and taunted him to his face.

No excuses, the Oregon player should NOT have punched him. Having seen the footage of the opponent getting up in his face, though, I would have been tempted to punch him too.

Regardless, the punishment was swift and severe.

Florida University apparently feels differently. More recently, when one of their players ‘eye-gouged’ (ala all-star wrestling) an opponent at the bottom of a huddle, he was given a one-half game suspension by his coach.

Half a game. Against mighty Vanderbilt. Wow.

[YouTube Video]

Had the episode not been caught on camera, what punishment would he have received? A high-five?

Now we know who to root for if the Ducks ever meet the Gators.
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By Wink

White House Communication Director Anita Dunn will be leaving her post soon. She is best-known for saying that Fox News was acting as an arm of the Republican Party.

In spite of (or perhaps as proof of) the obviousness of that comment, the collection of Fox commentators ripped into her for those sentiments.

Now that she is leaving, Foxophiles on the web are giddy….

Foxophile: “It’s about time Dunn step down. Her attempt to cripple freedom of speech was detrimental to this countries founding principals. The last time this was attempted by a political party was in the 1930s prior to WWII.”

W-L COMMENT: Her attempt to cripple freedom of speech? Did the government shut down Fox? How did I miss that? And whatever will happen to Rush now that his freedom of speech has been crippled?

W-L COMMENT #2: I did not know ‘principals’ founded our country. What schools were they from?

Foxophile 2: “Let (Dunn) go do some soul searching, guided by her hero Mao.”

W-L COMMENT: I am not a Maoist, but that doesn’t mean everything he ever said is illegitimate. Is the argument that we should never read anything written by someone we disagree with?

Thomas Jefferson had slaves, and bedded some, yet Glenn Beck quotes him all the time. Does that make Beck a slave-owner? Yep, it does, if you follow Beck-type logic.

Anyone who has read Mao and/or quotes Mao is a Marxist, or is it communist? (Help me out here, Glenn).

By this line of logic, only the uneducated should run America. On the positive side, Mr. Beck is well-qualified to be the leader of the un-read!

And what about the fortune cookie that comes with my Chinese food? Is it safe to read that? (Hint: Chinese food originated in China!!)

Is it okay to listen to Mozart? C’mon Glenn, you KNOW there are hidden Nazi messages in there. Would our Fuhrer Obama like to hear “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik” again?

I am saddened when liberals throw around the word ‘fascist’ to describe various conservatives. I still hear it now and again.

But not NEAR as much as I hear “communist/socialist/Maoist” from the right. Now they are throwing in ‘fascist’ and ‘Nazi’ to describe liberals! This is pretty clear evidence that these people don’t have an idea of what ANY of these words mean.

But I understand. It fits nicely with the Beck-ian philosophy that, to be a true American, you must NOT read anything from any leader that was not born in America.

Side note: It is also not safe to read America-born communist authors like JFK & Obama.

Safest bet: Don’t read anything of a historical nature, and let Beck and Rush do all of your thinking for you.

Fox can supply the bumper-stickers…”Ignorant and Proud!”
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By Wink

This health care debate sure brings out the ‘wuss’ in some politicians.

If you hate it, just say you hate it.

Say “Everybody should be responsible for their own d*** health insurance”.

Say “Like all things in life, the ability to get health insurance is a matter of survival of the fittest” (if you DARE say anything that implies Darwinian principles)

Say “The best government is NO government.”

Say “I always opposed Medicare, and this is just another variation on that bad idea.”

Say “If you want health insurance, educate yourself enough so you can get a job that OFFERS health insurance.” (Bootstraps, bootstraps, bootstraps)

Say “All government programs are, by definition, socialist, and I ain’t no socialist”

C’mon man, stand up and spit it out. Are you totally gutless?

Those of you who oppose health insurance have come up with some of the lamest excuses. You wuss-out and say things like …

“NOW is not the time for this. These changes are too big, We need to take our time and think about this some more before we take any hasty action.”

When you say “We can’t afford it right now” you imply you would support it if we could afford it.

This is a lie and you know it.

You lie about this because you don’t want to seem like a heartless bastard.

Of course, due to this recession the U.S. can’t afford ANYTHING ‘right now.’

We can’t afford Medicare. We can’t afford to fix all these darned crumbling bridges. We can’t afford to be pouring a chunk of our military budget into Iraq. Protecting our borders? Who has money for that?

But even if we had no recession, even if the economy was booming, you would still oppose health insurance.

Just say it… “If National Health Insurance was a person, I would kill it with a rusty spoon…”
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By Ike

I’m sure you remember my excellent Thanksgiving poem last year. Well, this year I have created a Halloween poem that is only a tiny bit late. Enjoy, with a heartfelt (and late) Happy Halloween from those of us at The Winkest Link.

There once was an actor named Fred.
A tricky stunt took off his head.
The audience roared,
As his head soared,
For they did not believe he was dead.

The director Kurt was alarmed.
A stuntman of his had been harmed!
With the utmost haste,
And most paltry taste,
Fred was buried where once men had farmed.

Fred’s head awoke with a start.
His head and his neck were apart!
He somehow must,
Though covered in dust,
Reclaim his position in art!

Fred’s body clawed up quite unhurt,
And found his own head in the dirt,
He dusted off,
And with a small cough,
Set off to go speak with Kurt.

Alone with his failed work of art,
Kurt soon began to take heart.
Stepping in through Kurt’s door,
Fred said with a roar,
Kurt, I demand back my part!”

There once was a play called “Undead.”
The leading actor had no head.
The audience cheered,
And Kurt was revered,
And centered was a happy Fred.

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