November 2010

By Wink

President Obama took an elbow to the mouth playing basketball. It must have been a bloody mess because it took sixteen stitches to fix it up.

And those 16 stitches cost you, the U.S. taxpayer, over ONE BILLION DOLLARS. If my math is any good, that is around $100 million per stitch.

You and I both know this cost has something to do with all this health care reform.
Another true fact: Obama’s Kenyan aunt recently said she sincerely hopes he converts to become a Muslim.

She must be insane or stupid, because Barack Obama is already a Muslim. I have heard it thousands of times in the last few years. The guys who said it, and repeated it, and repeated it, and repeated it, could not possibly be wrong. What would be their motive?

But maybe she means he should become a ‘born again’ Muslim. That would make him TWICE the Muslim he is now. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Or maybe she is NOT insane. Maybe she is part of the ‘cover-up.’ You know, part of the conspiracy to hide his already-Muslim heritage. What better cover could there be than to say you WISH he were a Muslim.

Most assuredly, everyone at FOX wishes he was a Muslim…..

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By Wink

Believe it or not we have some pretty steady readers here at W-L. It is for them that we dedicate today’s article.

Below are sections from three songs. Try to guess who sang them.

The first one is for dear Peggy….

Isaac said he kissed you, beneath the apple tree.
When Benji held your hand he felt electricity.
When Alexander called you, he said he rang your chimes.
Christopher discovered you’re way ahead of your time.

We have two Tom’s who regularly follow us, so I will say this next song is for Tom “A”.

…… My grandfather and me
Around Nassau town we do roam
Drinking all night, got into a fight
Well I feel so broken up, I want go to home
So hoist up the….

And, to protect the identity of the other Tom, I will refer to him as “Lom”. For you Lom, a lollipop…..

Agents of the law, luckless pedestrian, I know you’re out there….

(by now the real “Lom’ will have this one all figured out, but for all of you luckless pedestrians who need more, I will continue on……)

With rage in your eyes and your megaphones
Saying all is forgiven
Mad Dog surrender
How can I answer
A man of my mind can do anything
I’m a bookkeeper’s son
I don’t want to shoot no one
Well I crossed my old man back in Oregon ….

Some of you, no doubt, figured out right away the first song is ‘The Love You Save’ by the Jackson 5. They don’t write them like that anymore.

Well, for the most part, they write them better, but you have to admit, these lyrics were pretty clever. (Don’t make me explain who Isaac, Benji, Alexander and Christopher are.)

The second song is “Sloop John B”, a much under-appreciated Beach Boys ditty.

They rarely ventured forth with this type of dark story.

Speaking of dark, our third song is the chilling “Don’t Take Me Alive” by Steely Dan.

Bonus points to anyone who actually figured this one out.


One right – Not bad ! (This is actually kind of a hard game)
Two right – You are older than you admit, and had your own transistor radio.
Three right – YOU are a music aficionado. Champion for a day!

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By Wink

Did you hear about President Obama’s $200,000,000 per day trip to India? You didn’t? That’s because it is not true.

Some guy threw that little tidbit out as a guest on a mostly-liberal radio talk show the other day.

Of course, to me, $200,000,000 per day seemed like an insanely high number. So I rolled it around in my head for about five seconds…. Let’s see… that would make a five day trip cost the U.S. taxpayers $1 billion.

Sorry Charlie, I could tell, without any research, that somebody made up the whole thing.

And it’s funny. The guy on the radio didn’t sound stupid, so why is he just throwing around stupid phony ‘facts’ like that?

Why? Because he has a political axe to grind, and doesn’t care about facts.

‘I read it on the internet’ or ‘I saw it on Fox’ are statements with equal credible value…. Zero.

And that is where he heard it, on Fox and on the internet… so it MUST be true.

For God’s sake people. Don’t you EVER question what you hear or read? Ever?

If you are ever tempted to spout some random info like that, and don’t want everyone to think of you as a total moron when it turns out you were wrong, LOOK IT UP.

Here is your chance…to look it up on Snopes.

You can also look these types of things up on

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Tonight we are live-blogging the election results (“how boring” you say).  We are going to keep a lighthearted look at these returns and keep it fun, while still providing information.  If you want serious, there are about 5000 other sources you can look to.  The blogging will start to ramp up at 7 p.m. Central Time, but will be starting now.

10:32 [Kasson]: Well Bristol Palin apparently moved on tonight.

10:19 [Wink]:  The nation is following this very-very closely.  Unless ‘Dancing With the Stars’ is on….

10:02 [Wink]:  The curse of victory. Republicans, like the Dems before them, will let this alleged power go to their heads.

9:30 [Kasson]: Geraldine Ferraro and Sarah Palin are on Fox News right now, and it was actually a nice, cordial  conversation. Although I found it funny when Sarah Palin suggested that the “Neanderthals verbally attacking” female candidates on both sides need to “evolve.”   Is that a belief in evolution I hear?

9:27 [Kasson]: It looks like Rhode Islanders (sounds like an NBA team), are voting down the state name change, I guess this should be taken as a referendum against our suggestions.

9:16 [Kasson]: That Michele Bachman interview with Chris Mathews was a classic in the disconnect (though noise may have played a factor.

9:03 [Wink]:  O’Donnell can tour with Palin. That would bring the total IQ up to about 115…

8:48 [Kasson]: Interesting “concession” speech by Christine O’Donnell.  If you weren’t paying attention, you would think she won.  Are there bigger things planned for her?

8:44 [Wink]:  While the red states get redder, the blue states become truly blue.

8:13 [Wink]:  GOP will control the House, the Dems may hold onto the Senate.

8:02 [Kasson]: Republicans are now projected to take control of the House.


7:43 [Kasson]: You know what they say about pundits, they make a “pun out of you ‘nd it”

7:37 [Wink]:  But back to the Rhode Island thing… rename it? How about ‘Rhode Schlolar’ (Rhodes Collar?)or ‘Rhode Hard and Put Away Wet’ or (irony intended) ‘The Colossus of Rhode’

7:35 [Cessna]: West Virginia projected to go Democrat, according to pundits this was a key win for Democrats to keep the Senate.

7:23 [Kasson]: How about Apple Juice, an an All-American drink, also healthy (and cheap, you never know in this economy).

7:19 [Cessna]: For the 2008 election, we toasted Barack Obama’s win with eggnog. This election’s drink of choice? Tears.

7:13 [Wink]: Election Night, 2010. We know that each and every election season you look forward to tracking the inner thoughts of the Winkest Link team.  Kick back and enjoy. We will give you a blow-by-blow as the evening progresses. For example, the pizza is delicious…

7:10 [Cessna]: So a Democrat in Delaware won their House seat. Is that a surprise, even in a Republican Takeover year?

7:00 [Cessna]: I was going to say something like that or “Rhode Landlocked,” but in all reality, Rhode Island is nothing. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

6:57 [Kasson]: Welcome Wink, glad to see you helping better the country.  Cessna, is bringing us his geography trivia informing me that in fact Rhode Island is not an island.  Does that make it an isthmus?

6:53 CST [Wink] Sorry for the late arrival. I was boosting the economy of the local pizza mart.  Just doing my part.

6:40 CST [Cessna]: Rhode Not An Island?

6:36 CST [Kasson]: Interesting ballot issue of the moment.  Rhode Island is voting to change their name, any suggestions?

6:33 CST [Cessna]: Rob Portman projected to win Ohio Senate seat. So much for my help in my Political Science 230 class, Mr. Fisher.

6:26 CST [Kasson]: I love it when results are called before any votes are tallied,  This includes (D) Leahy in Vermont and (R) DeMint in South Carolina.

6:17 CST [Cessna]: Early lead for Republicans in House 11-1. This is a bad sign for Dems since polls that have closed by now are on the East Coast, which is majority Democratic, usually.

6:15 CST [Kasson]: The first polls are now closed.  First predictions: Senate after election Dems-52 Republicans-48 House: this is way crazier to predict,  Republicans-228 Dems 210

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