June 2014

By Wink

I love all the big-time sporting events. I enjoy the World Cup, though it is a bit too nationalistic, and the Olympics, which is way too nationalistic. I love golf’s British Open and the Super Bowl (though it is way way WAY too commercial).

I watch the Kentucky Derby and all their silly hats. I am probably one of about a dozen people who still enjoys the World Series.

At the head of the list, for me, is “The Championships,” also known as Wimbledon. I love the pomp, the tradition and the genteelness. I love the grass courts, players in all-white outfits, the way the players are marched out for each match, and yes – the Royal Box.

Last year Britain had their first male champion in three quarters of a century – Andy Murray.

This year, of course, Murray fills the role of ‘returning champion,’ and was thunderously applauded by the home fans as he entered Centre Court for his first match. He waived to the crowd in response and acknowledged those in the Royal Box.

So who was in the Royal Box? The usual: dignitaries, luminaries, friends of the royalty, members of the royal family and, of course, Shaq – Shaquille O’Neal.

At first I was humored by this, the 325 pound Shaq so seemingly incongruous at an event dominated by the quick and the slender, but … but…. maybe I need to adjust my thinking.

Shaq is not the oaf he is made out to be. He is light-hearted and self-effacing. He is gracious and very graceful for a big-big man. He is an astute business man, much smarter than people think he is. He is an extremely snappy dresser and can pull off a distinguished air (honestly).

So why NOT Shaq? He represents the U.S. as well as anyone can.

Stand tall, Shaq. I forgive you for all the time you spent with the Lakers.

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By Wink

I have my own version of an ‘Idiot Test.’  It only applies to Americans, and all it measures is ‘stupid.’  I have always liked it because of its brevity.  Question #1 below was, originally, the entire quiz.  I have added a second question, and the answers will appear below.

1)      How many states are there in the United States of America?

2)      Charles Manson has been released from prison in California due to overcrowding.  How do you feel about that?

Answer  1)  Since 1959 America has always had 50 states. Always. None added, none dropped. If you are age 55 or younger there has never been any other answer.  50, 50, 50. A surprising number of people do not know this.  You learned this in fourth grade, plus, ‘50’ is a very easy number to remember. I could see some people forgetting if we had some weird number like 71.  Interestingly, people older than 55 answer this correctly much more often.

Answer 2)  Regarding Charles Manson, you shouldn’t ‘feel’ anything, because he has NOT been released from prison.  Charles Manson will NEVER be released from prison.  If, for some crazy reason, Manson is ever released, it will be the biggest news story you have ever seen. Bigger that the killing of Bin Laden. Big, big, big.

Scoring:  If you got #1 wrong you are a dummy.  We at Winkest Link do not apologize for this harsh judgment.  It is your civic duty to remember the number ’50.’

If you believed #2 was a factual statement, you are beyond ‘gullible’ and out past ‘stupid.’  You are all the way out to ‘effing stupid.’

Because it promotes readership, we at Winkest Link have promised to promote paranoid rumors, such as the Manson thread, but we reserve the right to insult those who believe them.

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