Dewey Defeats Truman
Congratulations to President-Elect John McCain. He has run an honorable campaign throughout this historical election. Barack Obama was truly a horrible choice for Democratic nominee. Dennis Kucinich would have easily beaten McCain (because he has a hot wife, too). Obama is taking the loss rather poorly. Apparently he is demanding a recount in California, New York, and Illinois. He is claiming that there was voter fraud in those three key states, as well as several others. He neglected to mention that Donald Duck, Goofy, and Mickey Mouse all voted for him three times in Chicago, and twice each throughout Ohio and Michigan. I am happy to see that his relationship with known terrorist Bill Ayers came into light, also this photo.
And this one.
And this one.
I am glad to see that America has picked the better candidate. He plans to get our economy rolling by eliminating taxes for the rich, because we all know they desperately need to keep five houses and three yachts in a crisis like this. He is also very smart when it comes to balancing the budget, planning to reduce military benefits like health care and the pesky cost of “PTSD” complainers. Another big budget cut is education, smart move. Why think about our future if the economy is bad now? And I know that McCain will lead us strongly through whatever crises we may face, because I have not yet mentioned that he faced a crisis while deployed in Vietnam. If you haven’t yet heard, he was a Prisoner of War that spent time in a Viet Cong Prisoner of War camp as a Prisoner of War, and he was way more deserving of his Purple Heart than that crazy liberal John Kerry. Did I mention McCain was a POW?
Sarah Palin is hard at work already as well. Two and a half months before she is officially VP she already has issued binoculars to the Alaskan Independence Party to make sure no Russians are hopping across the Bering Strait. Eventually, with the help of her husband, she plans to make Alaska its own nation, and I’m sure we all support her goal.
In celebration of this major victory, Dick Cheney fired a shotgun shell into the air and accidentally shot a quail in the face.
After finding out about the victory, current President George Bush gave John McCain a great big hug.
But I digress, we Americans will enjoy the next four years, just have we have enjoyed the prosperity of the last eight.
Once again, CONGRATULATIONS JOHN McCAIN FOR BEING ELECTED THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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