Smith Company Update, from John Smith III:
By Wink
Hello, and welcome to the new employee orientation for the Smith Company.
You are going to love working for the Smith Company. We have been profitable for our entire 75 year run, and we are family-friendly. Several generations of local families have gone to work for us because their mom or dad worked here.
The Smith Company was founded right here in this town by my grandpa, John Smith, and we have chosen to remain headquartered here.
We have been a good community partner, sponsoring Fourth of July parades and little league baseball, and we have donated money and manpower to causes you don’t even know about.
We promote from within because we appreciate your hard work and loyalty and …..
…Excuse me, I have just been handed a note. It seems we have just been bought out by XYZ Inc.
XYZ has decided to relocate the Smith Company to Tucumcari, where their CEO has a summer home.
Technically, you will all be laid off, but you will get the opportunity to apply for the few open positions that will be available in Tucumcari.
Please Note: Salaries will be lower and benefits will be fewer.
Tucumcari may be hundreds of miles away but, for the few of you who are rehired, XYZ will not pay your moving expenses.
Those of you who don’t make the cut will get the option of continuing your health insurance for 18 or so months. We know you won’t have a job, but XYZ will pay none of your health insurance premiums. Your monthly premium will be the (1) amount you have been paying up to this point, PLUS (2) the amount the company paid, PLUS (3) an additional two percent.
Sorry fellow former Smith Company employees. I am going out for a drink.
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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